Esmond's Blog: March 2006

Childish

For those whom have been religiously reading my blog (or those few that have), you’d seldom see Esmond bitching about things around him. That is of course until he can no longer suppress the impending need to release that pent-up frustration and the naivety that surrounds him.

Do you have recollections of childhood days? Remember the time you had a new toy and instinctively chucked away the old beloved? Then along came Matthew eagerly picking it up and having the time of his life with it. It seems he has so much fun you decide to reclaim it and thus, tossing the new love. When he’s sufficiently deprived and no longer interested, you cast it out of sight again!

Remember the time you were playing catching? Mark tagged you and made you the catcher instead? No matter how fast he ran or dodged, you insisted on enacting revenge! You stubbornly ignored the easier catches and fixated your target on him! This tit for tat disposition creates a seamless and vicious quid pro quo cycle.

Remember your best mate in school, Luke? You two used to hang out so much together; virtually doing everything like twins? One day, you somehow found a new best friend. Luke was envy green and did everything he could to revert the times; even if it meant ratting on you, betraying your trust and sowing jealously. You just couldn’t believe how selfish and downright dirty he could get just to win you back!

How about John? Being buddies and such, he promised to back and stand by you. He promised to see you through thick and thin. He even swore his loyalty to your friendship. What happened? When the bullies came the next day, he joined their ranks and turned against you. Why did he tell and profess one thing and do another?

Sure, each of us has to some extent done these one time or another in our youthful days. But shouldn’t such petty behavior be better left back then? It’s a wonder how some people still practice them at their age. As the Aussies put it: “You have lost the plot mate.” As Singaporeans aptly put it: “Wake up your bloody idea and grow up!”

What is Love?

What is Love? Each one of us will at one juncture in time ponder over it. Just what is Love? We draw conclusions from movies, friends and social norms. To each his or her own, we come up with our own yardsticks to try and reconcile this quandary. With what extent of certitude have we? To what amount are we unequivocal about Love and its meaning?

I have in my blog, numerous poems and posts regarding what I feel Love is. Yet, I am unsure. I am lost and feeble; vulnerable and nakedly exposed. As sudden as a gust of wind, I recall something which may aptly relate to this common dilemma. In fact, the answer may have existed all along; all through the ages and most of time.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“I Love You” by Esmond Ng © copyright 03/03/06

Hey, Life is really fragile. If ever an eulogy is needed for me, please read this:

“I Love You” by Esmond Ng © copyright 03/03/06
============================================

These three words most commonly used;
Misused, underused and superfluously accented.
For oft-imagined they only indulged in Lovers’ converse,
Neglected Love of kinships and friends due.

If Fate so callously command should to me,
That next beautiful sunrise again I will never see.
Then let all I adore be told these three,
Lest they cease to ever remember me remember Thee.

For Love be from me to my Parents rightfully,
And Love be to all close or even acquainted me.
Not least be Love to fore Lovers of mine give,
That each did I bare for Thine wholeheartedly.

Did chance not I had to profess all these?
Nay I say, for my actions they preceded me.
Only for moments with me not around to please,
I Love You for moments just like these.